Ok, I hate to do this to you but I have to.  I absolutely have to.

If I had to see this, so do you.  Are you ready?  I would advise you look away but I know you.  You are going to scroll right down and check it out.  Remember – you have been warned.  I am giving you time to hit the back arrow and get back to trolling Facebook for your old college boyfriend or looking for some ridiculous craft on Pinterest that you will do when hell freezes over.  You know, the one with your kids footprints and glitter.

Last chance.

Ah, welcome back.  I knew you couldn’t resist.   What is this you ask?  I. Have. No. F’ing. Clue.

It haunts me.  It keeps me up at night.  I will admit though, my sister and I have laughed at this so hard we had tears coming from our eyes.  A lot of them.  Is it nuts?  Is it a butt?  Is this creature smuggling plums?  Is it a lady?  Is she holding a purse?  Should she invest in a pair of zubas?

More importantly, is it a taco butt?  Holy hell, if this is a taco butt, I may just grow a hump and move under the nearest bridge.  Is this my future?

You may remember that the taco butt is legendary in the Vogel family and it haunts us.  The origin is sweet Grandma Vogel who proudly showed it off her her purple polyester pants.  She so kindly passed it on the my father who who so generously passed it on to yours truly.  He also passed on a whole hell of a lot of white hair which if I did not manage would be recipe for disaster.   Once in a while I will get lazy on touching up the roots and my husband will start referring to me as “Pauly Walnuts”.  That is my cue.

If you recall a taco butt is a very flat ass that seemingly has points at the end.  I am not sure how this is possible but I do know it is the reason the I require a belt and I pull up my jeans 236 times a day.

I know what your next question is and the answer is this…..I have no idea where this came from.   I found it at about 2:00 in the morning and I have no idea what I googled that brought me here.  This could be the real problem.

So, you are welcome.  The next time you are getting ready to go out and are doing the once over in the mirror – you know where you check out your ass in the full length mirror while rubber necking your head to see every angle, remember this and say this, “damn, I look good.”  You do, trust me, you do.

After you tell yourself how good you look, make sure you enter a new event into your phone calendar for the year 2044.  “Go find Vogel and see if her ass looks like that lady with the plum nuts.”

It is getting to be that time of the year…..soup.  I could eat soup everyday.  I eat soup in Mexico for lunch when it is 109 degrees.  If I could eat soup for every meal, I probably would.

Soup is amazing but it needs a little something else to go with it.  My standard go to is a good artisan french bread topped with some smart balance, garlic salt and munster cheese.  Throw this under the broiler and it is the perfect side to any soup, chili or stew.  (Although, I have to digress about stew.  I don’t like this word.  It reminds me of some neanderthal type dish made with chunks of hairy boar and full size carrots).

So, I made some soup for dinner, invited the world’s best neighbors over and decided we needed to paint pumpkins and have something to go along with our soup.  Meatball sandwiches on a stick.  Say what?  Yes.  Meatball sandwiches on a stick.  So good.  So easy.  (I tried to remember to snap a few pics but I was busy between the dance party in my kitchen and cleaning glitter and paint off of my giant baby).

Here is what you need:

And some cheese….whatever kind you have.  We live and die by Munster in our house so it is our go to cheese for grilled cheese, quesadillas, garlic cheese bread etc.  Make sure you make buy the party size meatballs.  (They are in the freezer section). They come 64 in a bag.  Grab some wooden skewers and you are ready to roll.

See what you do there?  Thaw the meatballs and then wrap the breadstick around it and skewer it with the….well, the skewer.  Funny how that works.  Then brush them with a little bit of butter or olive oil and sprinkle with garlic salt and oregano.  Then we added our standard slice of Munster and threw it in the oven at 390 for about 10 minutes.  Just freeball it as I really did not use the timer.

Then server them with dipping sauce – whatever floats your boat….marinara, ranch, gardinaira. (How in God’s name do you spell that word?)

So this is what you end up with……this was the last guy standing.  I forgot to take a photo when they came out of the oven, but you get the jist.  They come together in about 12 minutes, bake for about 10 and wah-lah.  Something fun to serve with soup other than garlic bread.  The kids think they are super cool and so do I.

So just make these…..I promise you will like them.  I do.

Also, invite your neighbors over and have a dance party….and paint pumpkins.  Why not?  

Oh yeah, have a glass of wine too.  That helps with the clean-up.