I will be the first to admit that there is a chance I have lost control.  I have 2 tiny bosses and they call me “Mommy.”  They tend to run the show.  I tend to “give in” to them more than I should, particularly in public places – like the grocery store.

There are a few things worse than taking my pals to the grocery store – a root canal, putting a toothpick under  your toe nail and kicking a wall as hard as you can, jumping off the Empire state building and landing on a bike with no seat or taking a cheese grater to your eyeballs, to name just a few.

When I take them to the store, I always promise it is the last time I will ever be doing this and then like clockwork, about 5 weeks later, I think I can handle it and give it another whirl.  I can’t.  Especially when they do not have carts that hold both of them….this is why Costco is amazing because they can both be locked and loaded, strapped in and essentially held hostage in the Costco carts.

This is why I had to put them both in the cart with the groceries.  This didn’t last long as I had a 12 pack of Guinness in there which Einstein (L.A.) figured out to use as a seat.  This did not work out well for Eden so I had to grab another 12 pack.  “Whatever works” is my motto in life.  I pick my battles and the stares from judgy people no longer bother me.

What the hell?  Throw the groceries on the bottom of the cart so they don’t get smashed by 2 pairs of tacky crocs.  There is nothing classier than using alcohol as a bench or jumping off of  the top of the Empire state building and landing on a bike without a seat….and landing on a rusty stump.

To add insult to injury, they have this free horse to ride after you checkout.  Just when I am almost in the clear, this thing needs to be taken for a spin and God forbid they take turns.

In 5 weeks I will need a refresher of this trip as I will once again try and lug them to the store and buy precisely 68 things that are not on my list in exchange for silence.  Yama mama.