This guy….my favorite “tiny” guy – eats off the floor and I am ok with it.

I have one of the word’s pickiest eaters on my hands and I have nearly given up.  He literally only eats white shit.  Well, not shit, not really but he might as well.  His diet is about as nutritious as dung.

My giant baby eats the following white foods:

-Bananas

-Vanilla yogurt

-Granola Bars

-Oyster crackers

-Graham crackers

-Goldfish (technically not white)

-Applesauce

-Tater tots

-French fries

-Chicken nuggets

-Saltines

-Ramen noodles

-Pediasure

 

Lord.  This is it.  I have tried.  I have left the poor kid in the high chair for 2 hours with nothing but peas and turkey.  The little guy is stubborn.  He wanted to have a stare down instead of eat.  He started eating his fingernails, which technically are white.

The pediatrician said it was a phase and not to be worried.  I actually had a nephew that was the exact same and he grew out of it so there is hope.  The odd thing is that my pals will eat anything and everything.  They love fruit.  They love veggies.  Eden likes everything except ketchup because she thinks girls do not eat it, only boys.  I wonder where she got this from.  Ketchup gives me the shivers just thinking about it…so does salmon, red pepper, mango, peaches, swiss cheese, mustard, tuna salad and the McRib.

It is actually not surprising that Abbott is picky because I am about the worst.  I do not think I have ever gone into a restaurant and ordered off the menu without tweaking the item in some way.  This is why I kill servers and bartenders with kindness although my brother still swears I have ingested at least a gallon of spit due to this annoying habit.  On a side note, I waited tables for years and didn’t give a rip if people ordered special requests as long as they were nice about it.  This is where “the kill them with kindness” part comes in along with the standard 25% tip.  Unless my husband is in charge, then this goes up to 30% because he thinks I am so annoying and feels the need to make up for my “can I have extra mushrooms, sauce on the side and no red pepper please.”

So, I do anything and everything to get my giant baby to eat.  The 5 second rule does not apply at our house.  Or anywhere.  If he found a random cob of corn at the park and wanted to take a bit, I would let him. This is why our house has about the 24 hour rule.

I sweep every day.  Don’t get me wrong, it is not a deep sweep.  I am talking a 4 minute sweep to pick up the crumbs, shattered dreams, beads, glitter and cheerios.  I sweep it into one spot and this guy comes along and just eats right out of my pile.  Guess what, I am ok with this.  The other day he ate a fruit loop and I was just excited it was a red one and not a yellow one.

 

So the 5 second rule does not apply at our house.  Not even close.  The other day I personally picked up a tater tot, brushed it off and considered popping it in my mouth.  I found a dog hair on it though and we have not had a dog here for about a month.  Maybe I need to rethink my 4 minute sweeping strategy and up it by a minute or two.

*(On a side note, for those wondering – Enzo is not dead or anything.  He just happens to have moved in with my mother-in-law aka St. Roberta so my sanity can stay in tact).