I try to be one of those mom’s that gives my kids well balanced meals that promotes a healthy lifestyle with a full representation of all the food groups. (For the record, I have no idea how many food groups even exist).  I do try and cut up some sort of fruit at every meal – that counts, right?  Sometimes it might be a dried out clementine or an apple that looks like it went a few rounds with Mike Tyson or someone from the Jersey Shore.  When the bananas get brown we call them “Mater” bananas (from the Cars movie – Mater is that brown dumpy tow truck).  They still buy that one but my days on that one are very limited.  Bananas are not huge in our house but Minions are very popular.  The minions are the little guys from Despicable Me.  They actually want their 4th birthday party to be a “Minion party”.  At least they agreed to something because that does not happen very often.

So here is my latest fix for the “I won’t eat my banana Mommy”……I figured, it kind of looks like a minion and I have a boatload of sharpies and some extra time on my hands:

Slice that thing in half, whip out the sharpie, draw some eyeballs and hair and wah-lah, there you have it – a minion.  Get them to eat that half and then they get another minion when that is done and then before you know it you have gotten a whole banana down the chute.  If they give me the cold shoulder on apple slices I put some vanilla yogurt in a tiny 3 oz bathroom cup (the cute kind with the animals on) and tell them it is dip.  They have no clue and I tell them that they are eating apple nachos.

It seems like packaging goes a long way for my kids just like adults.  I write their names on EVERYTHING.  Every juicebox, every bag of pirate booty and even on their banana’s (when they do not look like minions).  They like things in their own individual cups for dipping sauces/yogurt and I am happy to oblige as long as it works.  Applesauce – throw some food coloring in there and they will eat a boatload of it.  I buy unsweetened stuff and let them pick a color.  Bright blue apple sauce is pretty cool.  They want to try Red and see how that tastes.  I lean back and pat myself on the back for being so clever…..that is until I realize that I have 43 baskets of dirty laundry and we all have been wearing the same underwear since Tuesday…..but we do turn them inside out if necessary.

Who doesn’t love a good hot dog?  I only eat them at a Cubs game after a warm PBR’s but my kids love them and when they want them for dinner – no problem…..as long as it is not 5 days a week.  (4 could possibly fly).  My kids started out eating them just like a log. “NO…Mommy, don’t cut it.  Then it doesn’t look like a laser!”  Ok, so let me get this straight you want a hot dog, not heated up, just laying on your Ikea plate.  Just laying there like a pathetic excuse for encased meat?  “Yes Mommy….it is a laser dog.  It looks just like a laser.”  I really cannot argue with him for so many reasons.  Not only does he give me credit for being the coolest Mommy ever because I am letting him eat a laser, it literally takes 4 seconds to put a hot dog on a plate.  Cut some Jersey Shore apple slices and dinner is served.  This phase lasted a while but they get bored easily, like their mom.  This is why we have random dance parties during the day and my kids have to tell me to “zip it”.  Which we all know that “zip it” is the fancy/polite way of saying “shut up”.  I hate “shut up”.  It is terrible and crass and it makes my skin crawl but “zip it” I can handle and deal it out regularly.

So when we got tired of the laser hot dog we moved on to a VERY complicated hot dog that you really should have a masters in physics to tackle -the octopus dog.  It takes very precise measurements and you may or may not need a pro-tractor to get Oliver the octopus just right.

So here is what our laser hot dog morphed into – Simon.  He takes about 8 seconds to make and is even cuter when they let me stick little cloves in for eyeballs but that doesn’t happen very often.

So everyday we try and get a little creative and beyond the peanut butter and jelly and scrambled eggs.  We have make your own pizza faces on the dinner for tomorrow night so that should be interesting.

Just as long as I get to eat their scraps I am good.  I have officially turned into my dad and cannot let food go to waste.  “Finish that fish stick LA….but I don’t like it.”  “Well neither do I but I will eat that mushy mess of bones that I paid for so it does not go to waste”.  I have turned into my dad.  It is official…..although I am way better at charades than him.

Case in point:  

He was acting out a taco.  You guessed it right away, didn’t you?