Do you remember when we were little and we had “snow days” where they cancelled school because there was too much snow and they were worried about buses, transportation etc? Well, now we have some polar vortex taking over the midwest so we have “cold days”. It is too cold to literally get the kids from the car to the school and then back out. That my friends, is cold. My current temp on my phone is -6. The high today was -4. This does not even seem possible but it was so we had some cabin fever today and we were stuck inside all day. This is very frustrating for me as I tend to go stir crazy being in one place and need to be doing stuff. I will take my pals anywhere to do stuff. Generally, if you invite us to come to something, we are there….half dressed, usually a bit late with a shitty diaper but we are there. So you have been warned. We even cross state lines.
So today we got stuck inside ALL day and I am over cartoons. Really, if I have to do one more Dora or Mickey Mouse Club or Team Umizoomi I may jump off of the top of my house and aim for a bike without a seat. I am over it.
We started out our day with Cap’n Crunch which set the tone for the whole day. For the record I bought the cereal for my husband Arno and we thought we ran out until my parents rolled in last week with leftover “Christmas Crunch”! Perfect timing. Now instead of Honey Nut Cheerios with sliced bananas in the morning my pals wanted Christmas Crunch. Fine. This whole day is going to be a shit show so let’s just get the day started out with a massive sugar high to kick things off right. Would you like a tiny espresso to go along with that Christmas Crunch? How about a scone?
We held back until abut 10 am where we whipped out the homemade play-doh. For the record, I have a sprained wrist and hunchback from sitting over the pot making this stuff. Next time I am ponying up the 6 dollars and buying it pre-made. I have a serious thrifty bone in my body so if I can do something cheaper and many times better, you better believe I am doing it. We played Frozen on the computer because we are now addicted to the tunes so the play-doh that is stomped into the carpet may be worth it. We shall see.
Then we took a break from play-doh and LA decided that it was time to teach Abbott to walk. He is almost officially ONE after all and LA said it is time. LA did his best but we ended up with a couple bumps and bruises and he is not ready for any sprints to the kitchen for his morning bottle.
We half ass cleaned up our play-doh and recovered from Abbott’s walking demise and focused on lunch. LA was tired from lugging his giant baby around the house teaching him how to walk and needed some nourishment. He requested cheese dogs in sleeping bags. Done. Take a hot dog, roll it in a croissant and call it a day. Serve it with apple sauce and yogurt and then you don’t feel so bad. My pals eat more Activia yogurt than anyone I know.
So sleeping bag hot dogs segued into watching The Wizard of Oz which for the record is Creepy, Creepy, Creepy but my pals love it. It was a very thoughtful gift for Abs from one of my all time favorite’s – Aunt DD. I tried my best to snooze during it but they were really not having it. “Mommy, you can’t rest your eyes, you are not in church.” “Papa does it, why can’t I?” I tried. Lord did I try.
Then to kill some more time we decided to go dye my gray hair and we made it a whole family affair so we were all stuck up in my bathroom. We even plucked and shaved and I made my kids look up my nose and see the tiny hairs to which they replied – “oooooooooohhhhh mommy!” So we plucked them out and then I was the one screaming “oooooooohhhhhh mommy”. I dare you to take a tweezers up your snoot, clamp it down and just pull down with gusto. Holy. Balls. You didn’t think you had hair up there and you had NO idea it would feel like you were removing a limb with a rusty axe. Who ever knew a nose hair could cause so much pain. Just do it. I dare you. Keep me posted.
Then after we used a family day to help Mommy we decided to make the Christmas Smores brownies that we bought in the clearance section at Target for 29 cents. You cannot beat that with a stick. We put heart sprinkles on them from the dollar section at Target so we crossed holidays….for a bargain.
Total bargain but about a million health violations. LA likes to be undie wearing at all times and always has them on backwards. Boys briefs always have a giant pic right on the rear and LA decided that why should he wear the back on his buns where he cannot see it? He needs it front and center. At all times. His teacher has brought this up with me and I told here there is no way I can get him to change them now. I honestly think it is pretty brilliant.
Then we watched the magic of the brownie TV through the oven……..and then I begged them to stop fighting. We had a tiny dance party until I ran out of steam and had to change a corny shitty diaper.
We fought until dinner while I intermittently threatened to throw them outside if they did not stop fighting. It worked. So then we moved onto our old standby – make your own english muffin pizzas. We do this at least once a week and I promise you that they taste way better than you think they are going too……
Then after all of this stuff, we had to have a bit of a serious moment. Our poor fish who we tried everything to keep alive, kicked the bucket. Poor “Mike Mommy”. We got you a fancy new house with a heater and filter and even plants and fancy rocks. We feel terrible so it might be a break for us until we have another fish around here.
We ened the day with a bath….a serious bubble bath.
Then Poor Abbott said, “give me a drink, just let me be and wake me when it is tomorrow”
Tomorrow we have some lame crafts on deck and some fun sciency projects. We are still strapped in here and with the high of -6, the only time I will be getting out is to get my annoying dog out for what better be the biggest and quickest dump and whiz. Wish us luck. We shall need it…..and if you are up for it, get your ass over here and join the chaos.