Wow, just wow.  I need to get that out of the way.

I will admit that I was blessed with pretty decent legs and long nail beds.  One thing that I was not blessed with was a nice ass.  It is very flat and I spend half of my life pulling my pants up.  This coupled with the fact that I do not have much of a waist is a recipe for disaster.  I really should invest in belts but I find them so tacky and I feel like they accentuate the barrel physique.

I will never forget the first time Arno saw me naked.  I was blow drying my hair and he walked into the bathroom and just stared with this weird look on his face.  Very self consciously I asked him what the problem was, to which he responded.  “You know what your problem is?  You simply have no waist.”  I SIMPLY have no waist……or ass.

So, back to the ass or lack of.  I was just flipping through the photos on my phone and came across these.  I about died.

Apparently Eden had my phone and decided to snap some pictures.

What in the world is wrong with me?  For starters, why are my pants pulled up to my chin?  Oh I see why, apparently I really like to pull them up….high, very high.  I don’t mess around.  I guess if my pants are not falling down, they are up to my boobs.  There is no in between with me.

So let me introduce you to something that runs in our family.  It is the “Taco Butt”.  My dad so kindly passed this onto me.  Thanks dad.  Now let me describe the taco butt for you.  It is flat all around, a touch wide and somewhat pointy at the bottom….and it is mine, all mine.  It resembles 2 flat taco shells pressed up against each other.  It is terrible.

I guess I should be thanking my lucky stars that my husband is a boob guy and not a butt guy.

So the next time your kid grabs your phone, beware.  You never know what in God’s name you could find.