Well my pals were at school today so that means that Abs and I hit up all of our favorite hot spots in town – Costco, Target, Meier and sometimes the Taco Bell drive thru.  I skipped the Taco Bell drive thru today but only because time was tight….damn you new checkout boy at Target who could not get the new roll of paper in the register.  My crunchy taco supreme I called and ordered ended up sitting there lonely (at least it had the other 3 items I was going to inhale to keep it company).

I broke out into a cold sweat trying to get poor Abbott in his carseat while he is dressed like an Ice Road trucker in his new coat that is 18 sizes too big….the poor guy rarely cries.  Except for today when I may or may not have pinched his poor nuts in the bottom snap strap.  Damn, I had my whole body into pushing that second snap in.  It really nearly took a village and I was relieved to find out his nuts were fine upon further inspection in the Costco restroom.  Phew…..

After the near nut debacle we loaded our cart at Costco with 386 things that we did not need (and about 12 of them were cheese related).  On a side note, they have amazing fondue and their price on Boursin cannot be beat.  Costco is a whole different post because it is like the Bermuda triangle for me.  I loose all sense of reason when I am in there……”Why yes, I do need this 19 lb can of refried beans and a box of tampons to last me through menopause.”  I am not sure what comes over me but I need help.  I thought Target was bad but Costco takes the cake.  It must be hereditary because they just opened one in Green Bay and my dad goes every day.  Yes, every day.  He loves it, but what’s not to love?

So as we were heading to Target, I pulled up behind this mini-van:

Now, I have so many questions with this that I do not know where to start?  I must disclose that these car decals have lost their luster on me.  You drive a mini-van.  I am not sure the stick figure family was necessary as we hope that is what you are carting around in there……not a gaggle of hookers – but those decals would be more entertaining I bet.

First off, why does one of the dogs get top billing?!?!  The order is:  dad with no clothes, mom with a lovely A-line dress on, DOG, then kid, kid, kid, baby, dog.  What do these poor kids think every time their mom rolls up to pick them up?  I assume the one dog is in the front seat eating Alpo bon-bon’s while the other dog is at home in a dark basement.  Why is the one dog more important than the kids?

Shouldn’t it go: Naked dad, Mom with a lame dress, skinny naked boy, 2 girls with the same exact outfit, baby with one giant hair, dog, dog?  You will also notice the top billed dog has his butt facing the kids just to add insult to injury.  This is going to keep me up at night…..