It is amazing how truthful kids can be.  I wonder when the switch is going to flip in my pals tiny heads but right now, I like it just the way it is.    There is no need for me to check up on my kids because if they are not ratting each other out, they are ratting themselves out.

Just tonight during bath time (which is one of the best times because all 3 kids are contained on one space.) I asked the kids about school and if anyone got in trouble today at school.  L.A. responded, “L.A. got in trouble.  He was very naughty.”  Well, really Einstein, do tell me more.  “He wouldn’t put his shoes on and Miss Campbell got very mad.  Then L.A. maybe threw the shoes.”  OK, smarty pants, don’t throw your shoes ever again and listen to Miss Campbell when she tells you something.  Ok Mommy.  Eden just sat there all wide eyed.  I asked her if she got in trouble today.  She did not.  She listened today because she is “so pretty.”  Ok, sounds good to me.  Maybe that is why I am such a good listener. (Says the worst listener in the world).

Listening is not one of my strong suits and it drives my husband crazy.  I think having 3 kids allows you to tune out everything.  My sister, Amy, used to do this and before I had kids it was mind boggling to me.  Her kids would be screaming, “Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom” over and over and after about the 843rd time she would say, “What, are you talking to me?”  She was busy doing something and tuned it out.  She is super mom so she was likely making a souffle or stenciling a wall with a mid century work of art.  Now, that is me and it kills Arno.  My husband could be talking about diamonds and Taco Bell and I hear circus music sometimes.  I am just not the best listener.  I also am not the best at doing laundry or eating salmon or making the bed or keeping my giant car clean or keeping dirty dishes out of the sink or watching the news.

If you find your bathroom scale to be outdated and cluttering up your space, pitch it and find a 3 year old.  Just ask them if you are fat.  They will tell you.  I ask my kids ALL the time.  So far, so good.  Phew.  Although L.A.  did tell me the other day that maybe I could “not see so good because I have cracks by my eyes.”  Ouch.  I even asked him where and sure enough he pointed out the crows feet.  “Mommy, I do not have those cracks.”  Yes, Fabio, I am aware now quit reminding me that I am getting older.

So I guess if you need to know the truthful answer to absolutely anything, come ask my kids.  I cannot guarantee you will get the answer you want but you know it will be the truth.  Now excuse me while I go putty the cracks by my eyes.