Bribery goes a long way in our house.  I will admit it.  I am not ashamed at all.  It works for us although I know some people don’t use this tool.  To these people, I say, “What is wrong with you?”  I will bribe my pals with everything from a cookie to staying up late to an outing.

My latest bribe that worked like a charm as bribing them with taking them to see “Disney on Ice” or as I referred to it, “watching Buzz Lightyear and Minnie Mouse ice skate.”  First you have to understand that my kids LOVE Disney.  My daughter is beyond obsessed with all things Minnie Mouse.  It probably isn’t even healthy, this little obsession she has.  If you ask her what she wants to be when she grow up, she will tell you Minnie Mouse.  After she says her good night prayers, she blesses everyone she loves.  The order always goes “Minnie, Mommy, Daddy, Nonie, Papa, Nana……” Ouch.  Meanwhile, Buzz Lightyear has a laser so you he ranks pretty high in my son’s mind.  Anyone with a laser is tits in his book.

So after being relatively well behaved for the week, they got their wish.  We went to watch Buzz and Minnie ice skate.  We also saw hot dogs ice skate.  For real.  These things marched out on to the ice and my daughter leaned over and asked me why the hot dogs were dancing.  That is a damn good question Eden. Why are those hot dogs dancing?

They are really broom sticks but they looked way more like hot dogs than a broom stick.  I like the way her mind thinks.  Genius.

You know what else is genius?  Bringing in your own popcorn so you don’t get juiced for a 12 dollar box.

Even more genius?  Bringing glow bracelets from the Dollar Store.  The poor sap in front of me got taken to the tune of 188 dollars buying crap that lit up and spun around for his kids.  It is all junk that they won’t give a rip about as soon as the lights come up.  I take that back, they will like them for the car ride home as well.

I buy my kids a ton of useless crap but buying stuff at the circus or an event like that is something they haver never experienced because I am the queen of contraband shit.  I bring everything from popcorn to juice boxes and candy.  I made sure we were all dressed in Mickey and Minnie stuff too so they didn’t ask for that too.

Believe it or not, they didn’t ask once.  They were fine with their bag of homemade popcorn, the juice box and the glow bracelets from Dollar Tree.  They always have them there by the way so I stock up. I am in love with the dollar store by the way…..they have a ton of crap but I buy a few things there regularly from sandwich ziploc bags,  kids toothbrushes, paper plates and napkins for kids parties and hand soap for my pals.  They always have character stuff (Disney, Snoopy, Spiderman etc).  I saw frozen steak there one time.  I promise I took a pass on that.  Promise…..or do I?